Results of Dads Survey 2009

Wow!   I am so amazed at the results from my Dads Survey (and also so thankful to all the Dads who took the time to fill it in – a huge thank you Guys!)

I just wanted to share the results with you – as I know you will be blown away as well – this world is changing for the better – day by day – one Baby and one Dad at a time!  

You know that the Dad’s involvement with his baby has a huge impact on his baby’s life/outcome – particularly those first two years – and now more and more - Dads are realizing how crucial it is that they are involved with their baby – in a loving way – right from the start …. It’s also so important that the new Mum realizes this – but that’s another story!

84.2% of the Respondents (Dads who filled in the survey) – were first time Dads aged between 19 and 45 years old – the majority were 35 – 45 years old, while 31.6% of them were aged 27 – 34 years old.

The majority (81.6%) had been in a relationship with the Mom for 18months or longer)

About half the Dads had some (or a little) experience with caring for a newborn baby.

The next figure interested me:   52.6% felt that they would automatically know how to care for their baby – while 47.4% did not.   My interpretation of this is that most guys believe using common sense will get them through – which brings me to the KISS principle – the Keep It Simple Stupid (and don’t take that personally anyone).   So stick to” keep it simple” – I don’t believe that God set it up so that most parents wouldn’t be able to do it.

What really impressed me was the response to the question:   Would you like to prepare yourself for your baby’s homecoming through reading books etc – and 67.6% said yes , while 29.7% said maybe – which together leaves only 2.7% who said NO.   This is fantastic – in the “old days” – it was just the Mom who was reading and attending classes – but new Dads these days want to know what to do, and they’re prepared to put the time into it – because they know how important their involvement is – because they want to give their baby the best.

I’m going to give you the information on what these Dads believe make a Great Dad – I asked them about their own Dad – what they liked and did not like about him, but what blew me away was the response to the question:   Would you like to be the same sort of Dad (as your own Dad was).   The response was 55.3% said NO, 18.4% said Yes, and 26.3% said Not sure.   To me this says that these Guys knew that their Dads had more to give.  (I don’t blame anyone for this – Western societies for decades placed very little importance on the Dads contribution – other than financial) – so of course Dads stayed in the background – or got mad and started shouting, and unfortunately, maybe even abusing or neglecting their baby/child.   And this is changing, and has changed.

This brings me to the work of world renowned scientist Dr Bruce Lipton, and his book “The Biology of Belief”.   After more than 30 years working with stem cells, Dr Lipton is able to  prove that our environment shapes us – gives us our beliefs about life.  The crucial periods when these beliefs are being formed – is before birth – while we are in utero – as we call it, and those first few years of life.   We, as human babies, are learning like sponges, sucking in everything that is going on around us – taking on the beliefs of our main care givers – with no ability to question if what we are learning is true or false.   Giving these little humans good nutrition is not enough, even though it is important.   How safe and wanted this little baby feels, how he/she is treated or mistreated, and  the emotions of the people who are around him constantly – create the baby’s perceptions of life i.e. influence his/her beliefs about life – and will affect his/her life –throughout their life - until that person has gained enough wisdom to question the belief.

Visit http://www.brucelipton.com  for more information 

Invariably – we go through life reinforcing these false beliefs – and strengthening them – through creating our life experiences that show that belief to be true.

It all comes down to the baby feeling safe and loved in those early months and years.   Imagine Science being able to confirm that!!!

When I asked my new Dads:  If you had a Dad, what did you like most about him?  I felt so touched as I read the replies.   I could feel the love these Guys felt for their own Dad, and how they valued time spent with their Dad, how important their Dad was to them, how important the way the Dad behaved towards the child was.   Overwhelmingly, the factor that was most important, was the Dad spending time - taking an interest in the child, being around for the child, and being supportive as the child faced different challenges.

Here are some of the responses, and I just want to point out that the first response is from a man who is about to become a father himself:

• “even though my dad and my mum are divorced he still makes the effort to contact me and make time to see me”
• “he was at home and built things for us”
• “just being there”
• Spending time, learning blokey stuff like building things etc
• Gives me advice
• His love and caring
• Spending time with him
• His honesty and love always listening to me and just being fun
• I like the affection he gives me and how he takes good care of me and ensures that everything is alright
• Always being around for me
• He was always supportive, fair and proud
• Always there for me
• His patience, encouragement and support

A number of respondents said that their Dad was fun – so men obviously bring different qualities.

Not all the Survey Respondents had a Dad, and we know from Parenting Author Steve Biddulph what happens to these children:

. “Boys with absent fathers are statistically more likely to be violent, get hurt, get into trouble, do poorly at school and be members of teenage gangs. Fatherless daughters are more likely to have low self-esteem, to have sex before they really want to, get pregnant, be assaulted and not continue their schooling.”

Which brings me to the survey question:   What did you like least about him? (your Dad)

• 17.8% said they had fathers who drank too much (alcohol)!!!   Dads out there – hear this – I was amazed at this response.   We all know how people can change who they are when they’ve had too much to drink – and it seems like it is the children who suffer
• 14.2% said that their Dads weren’t involved, or didn’t talk or interact much, “he didn’t know how to talk about his feelings and that became frustrating”
• Perhaps a really telling response was “he didn’t have much time to spend with us.  Too busy providing a living”,  “Worked too hard”
• Approximately 14% said that their Dads could be aggressive or unable to control their anger

The responses to what are the two most important things to you about being a Dad, were overwhelmingly about loving and caring:

• Caring for his wife and baby
• Being there as much as possible for mum n baby
• Kind, caring, loving fun and able to stick with discipline
• Someone who is encouraging and loves you
• Loving
• Loving, caring father who will be there for the kids
• Happy, confident, there for their child
• Someone who puts family first and cares for family
• Giving it 100%+++ trying to do what I think is best for my child, listening, coz every opinion counts, and advising what choices to make in life not telling
• Spends time and makes time with them
• A conscious effort made at parenting.   Someone who listens and spends time doing things kids want to do, the simple things.   Acknowledgement of the kids.
• Loving your kids and encouraging them
• Being a role model and showing love
• Loving and caring
• Spending time with child and wife
• Watching my child embrace life knowing that there is always love and support available
• Providing emotionally for the child and ensuring they know how much you care for them

For me, the most telling response was to the question:   At what stage do you want to be involved with your baby?

• 92.1% said immediately after birth!!!!!
• 7.9% said when the baby came home (my feeling with regard to this reply is that there are still some professionals and birthing centers who do not treat the New Dad as a very important Participant )

How incredible that 100% of Dads surveyed wanted to be involved with their baby by the time the baby came home.   As these Dads take positive action and respond to and spend time with their baby – sing, or talk lovingly to their baby, touch their baby gently and tell their baby how much they love them – these kids are creating a new world where kids have self esteem and respect for themselves and others – what a great impact they will have on their world.

For simple to understand information about the development of your baby’s brain, and how the way you interact affects that development, please visit my website: http://www.dadstheword.com/smile-why.htm 

If you would like to give your opinion on what makes a Great Dad  you can fill out the survey at:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=H1HicJc2_2b_2f2VQs53yFFBRA_3d_3d

This article was written by Ros Vroom (Registered Midwife/Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse) For New Parent Help visit http://www.dadstheword.com and http://www.mumstheword.com.au

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Diapering Baby

New parent? Are you wondering about diapering baby? and not sure how to go about it.
Looking for information on newborn care and which newborn diapers to use?

You’ve come to the right place! I can help … with about 20 years experience with nursing babies - diapering baby is as easy as pie - and I’ll even show you how with a video clip of diaper changing from my fun educational dvd for first time parents - endorsed by Australian College of Midwives Inc and Parenting author Steve Biddulph.

Being a first time Parent is such a huge life changing event- emotions can range from fear to great excitement … there is so much to learn … and it can be fun and easy with lots of time for loving and cuddles!

So let’s start with diapering baby:
When to diaper baby - usually this is done about 6 to 8 times over the period of a day (24 hours) best just before you feed your baby - no strict rule though except don’t do a lot of bouncing baby about after a feed as your baby may throw-up (possit is the medical word we use - and they tend to do this because the muscle at the top of the stomach is a little weak when they are born).

When your baby does a poop - don’t freak out at the thick sticky green stuff - that is called meconium and it was inside your baby’s intestines while inside mom - and it has to come out! It is best to diaper baby as soon as you know they have done a poop as it can cause a diaper rash if left in contact with baby’s sensitive skin - the smell may alert you that diapering baby is needed - or maybe you’ll just get a little surprise when you take off the diaper!

Ok - so be prepared - what do you need for diapering baby?
Most important - you need a safe place for diapering baby - this is a place that is clean, and where the baby cannot come to harm (from perhaps other little children - or from rolling off the diaper table. It is a good idea when at home to have an area set up where you can safely do this - with all you might need - within easy reach.

You need:
” Clean newborn diapers eg Huggies diapers or cloth diapers if that is your choice
” Something to clean your baby’s buttocks eg baby wipes or cotton wool balls with some warm water.
” Somewhere to put the dirty newborn diapers (eg. in a bucket or disposable bag)

How to go about it:
” Best to work at a height that won’t hurt your back (you’ll be doing lots of this over the next two years!!)
” Wash your hands before starting.
” Press your own body against the end of the diapering table - so that your baby can’t roll off - you never know how soon they are going to start rolling around - so get into the habit right from the start.
” With baby lying on his/her back - Undo the tabs on the newborn diapers
” Lift your baby’s bottom by holding the legs, and try to wipe off as much of the poop (if there is any) as you fold the diaper in on itself and remove it.
” Using a clean wipe or wet cotton ball - wipe from front to back (particularly with girl babies) and then dispose of the dirty wipe. It is important that you don’t leave poop or urine in the creases, and with boy babies - you don’t want to leave poop under the foreskin (but don’t pull back the foreskin)
” Use as many wipes as you feel you need until you are happy that there is no residue of faeces(poop) or urine (wee) on your baby’s skin.
” It is not necessary to routinely apply a cream to prevent diaper rash. If your baby’s bottom starts to look a little pink - then use an ointment/cream that will repel the moisture. Some people use vaseline (petroleum jelly) - but I prefer not to use this regularly - as your baby can absorb the minerals from the Vaseline and it can disturb the natural mineral balance in their body). A natural vegetable based cream is better - ask at your drug store or Health Professional.
” It is also better not to apply a beautiful smelling baby powder to their buttock/genital area - as this can dry the skin and increase the risk of diaper rash. If you like the smell of the powder - just sprinkle a little on the inside of the baby clothes.
” Place the clean newborn diaper under your baby, about halfway up - sort of in line with the belly button (umbilicus) and remove the piece of paper that is over the tab. With newborn diapers - place your baby evenly in the middle of the newborn diaper, and when you do up the tabs - make sure that the diaper is not too tight across the baby’s tummy - and not too loose - so that when you lift your baby - the newborn diaper falls down!
” There … just as I said .. diapering baby is as easy as pie - I forget to mention that your baby will most probably also want to throw in a good cry - so don’t be afraid - that is pretty much normal behaviour for a newborn!

When choosing newborn diapers, I personally chose the Huggies diapers as I found they lasted well and kept the moisture away from my baby’s skin, and I had no problems with diaper rash.

See - newborn care is easy - when you know how.
For more help - why not purchase my fun educational dvd “Seven Steps to Baby Bliss”? It shows you all you need to know when you first come home with your baby.
It covers all aspects of newborn care - from how to bath your baby, dress, and massage your baby - which I highly recommend because of all the benefits to your baby and it is so easy to do; feeding your newborn baby and how to work out if your baby is getting enough milk and SIDS prevention. The one chapter you will really want to watch is the one on how to “settle” a crying baby - i.e to work out why your baby is crying and what you can do to help.

So from diapering baby, to massaging baby - soon you will learn to understand your baby’s cues and become a confident New Parent!
Enjoy this special time of your lives!

Technorati Tags: diapering baby

You want newborn diapers that are easy to use, and are soft and gentle on your newborn baby’s skin - you want the best for your baby.

With years of experience with nursing sick newborn babies in hospital - we always used Huggies diapers as our newborn diapers - and found they were absolutely great.

While putting together this information for new dads and new mums - I was amazed to find that one can purchase Huggies diapers - newborn diapers size - at very competitive prices which often times will include free shipping - how convenient is that for a busy New Dad or Mum??

So if you’re looking for newborn diapers that are soft and gentle on your baby’s skin then get your Huggies newborn diapers now!